How to Write an Obituary: A Thoughtful Guide for Honoring a Life Well Lived
How to Write an Obituary: A Thoughtful Guide for Honoring a Life Well Lived
Writing an obituary isn’t just about announcing a death. It’s about telling a story.
Whether you’re writing one for a parent, a spouse, or even yourself, learning how to write an obituary can feel overwhelming. You’re grieving, emotional, and suddenly expected to sum up a lifetime in a few short paragraphs. No pressure, right?
Take a breath. You don’t have to be a professional writer to create something meaningful. You just need a little structure, a bit of heart, and permission to keep it simple.
How to Write Your Own Obituary
It’s your story — maybe it should be told in your words.
More people are choosing to write their own obituary ahead of time. Why? Because no one knows your life better than you do.
Writing it yourself lets you:
- Decide what truly matters
- Highlight values, passions, and moments you’re proud of
- Take the burden off loved ones during an already emotional time
You don’t have to write the final version today. Even a rough draft or notes can be incredibly helpful later—and that’s exactly the kind of thing My Banyan Life was built to safely store and share when the time comes.
Writing an Obituary for a Parent
One of the most meaningful ways to preserve their legacy
Writing a meaningful obituary for your parent is one of the most important things you can do to honor who they were. It’s a final love letter of sorts—a way to say, This life mattered.
You might feel pressure to “get it right.” The truth is, there’s no perfect obituary. There’s only an honest one.
Focus on:
- Who they were beyond their job title
- What they loved
- How they made people feel
That’s what readers remember.
What to Include in an Obituary
If you’re wondering what to include in an obituary, here’s a straightforward checklist most families follow:
- Full name (including maiden name if applicable)
- Date and place of death
- Age at time of passing
- Date and place of birth
- Key life details (career, military service, education, passions)
- Family information (more on that below)
- Service details (if public)
- Special messages (donations, charities, or personal notes)
You don’t need to include everything. Choose what feels right for your family and the person being honored.
How to List Family in an Obituary
One of the most common questions is how to list family in an obituary—and this can feel especially sensitive.
Traditionally, families are listed in this order:
- Preceded in death by: parents, spouse, siblings, or children (if applicable)
- Survived by: spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, siblings, and extended family
Example:
John is survived by his wife of 42 years, Mary; his children, Lisa (Tom) and Michael (Sarah); and his four grandchildren.
You can be formal or more relaxed. What matters most is clarity and respect.
A Simple Obituary Writing Template
Use this as a starting point. Adjust the tone, length, and details to fit the life being
honored.
[Full Name], age [age], of [city, state], passed away on [date].
Born on [birth date] in [birthplace], [first name] lived a life defined by [key traits, passions, or values]. They spent many years [career or meaningful life work], and were known for [personal qualities or interests].
[First name] was preceded in death by [names, if applicable] and is survived by [spouse/partner, children, grandchildren, and others].
A [memorial/service/celebration of life] will be held on [date] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [charity or cause].
You can save this template—and your personalized version—inside My Banyan Life so it’s accessible when your family needs it most.
Why Publish an Obituary in the Local News?
Even in a digital world, publishing an obituary in the local newspaper still matters. Here are a few good reasons why:
- It reaches people you can’t notify personally - Former coworkers, neighbors, classmates—many people still rely on local obituaries to stay informed.
- It creates a permanent public record - Newspapers often archive obituaries, making them part of local history and genealogy records.
- It honors the importance of a life lived - Publishing an obituary signals that this person mattered to their community—not just their family.
- It helps bring people together - Friends and acquaintances may attend services or reach out with support because they saw the notice.
- It provides closure - There’s something powerful about seeing a life acknowledged publicly. It helps make loss feel real—and shared.
A Final Thought
Whether you’re learning how to write an obituary for someone you love or preparing one for yourself, remember this: it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be true.
And if you want to make things easier for your family one day, storing your obituary draft, notes, and wishes securely in My Banyan Life is a simple act of love that lasts far beyond words.
Writing an obituary isn’t just about announcing a death. It’s about telling a story.
Whether you’re writing one for a parent, a spouse, or even yourself, learning how to write an obituary can feel overwhelming. You’re grieving, emotional, and suddenly expected to sum up a lifetime in a few short paragraphs. No pressure, right?
Take a breath. You don’t have to be a professional writer to create something meaningful. You just need a little structure, a bit of heart, and permission to keep it simple.
How to Write Your Own Obituary
It’s your story — maybe it should be told in your words.
More people are choosing to write their own obituary ahead of time. Why? Because no one knows your life better than you do.
Writing it yourself lets you:
- Decide what truly matters
- Highlight values, passions, and moments you’re proud of
- Take the burden off loved ones during an already emotional time
You don’t have to write the final version today. Even a rough draft or notes can be incredibly helpful later—and that’s exactly the kind of thing My Banyan Life was built to safely store and share when the time comes.
Writing an Obituary for a Parent
One of the most meaningful ways to preserve their legacy
Writing a meaningful obituary for your parent is one of the most important things you can do to honor who they were. It’s a final love letter of sorts—a way to say, This life mattered.
You might feel pressure to “get it right.” The truth is, there’s no perfect obituary. There’s only an honest one.
Focus on:
- Who they were beyond their job title
- What they loved
- How they made people feel
That’s what readers remember.
What to Include in an Obituary
If you’re wondering what to include in an obituary, here’s a straightforward checklist most families follow:
- Full name (including maiden name if applicable)
- Date and place of death
- Age at time of passing
- Date and place of birth
- Key life details (career, military service, education, passions)
- Family information (more on that below)
- Service details (if public)
- Special messages (donations, charities, or personal notes)
You don’t need to include everything. Choose what feels right for your family and the person being honored.
How to List Family in an Obituary
One of the most common questions is how to list family in an obituary—and this can feel especially sensitive.
Traditionally, families are listed in this order:
- Preceded in death by: parents, spouse, siblings, or children (if applicable)
- Survived by: spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, siblings, and extended family
Example:
John is survived by his wife of 42 years, Mary; his children, Lisa (Tom) and Michael (Sarah); and his four grandchildren.
You can be formal or more relaxed. What matters most is clarity and respect.
A Simple Obituary Writing Template
Use this as a starting point. Adjust the tone, length, and details to fit the life being
honored.
[Full Name], age [age], of [city, state], passed away on [date].
Born on [birth date] in [birthplace], [first name] lived a life defined by [key traits, passions, or values]. They spent many years [career or meaningful life work], and were known for [personal qualities or interests].
[First name] was preceded in death by [names, if applicable] and is survived by [spouse/partner, children, grandchildren, and others].
A [memorial/service/celebration of life] will be held on [date] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [charity or cause].
You can save this template—and your personalized version—inside My Banyan Life so it’s accessible when your family needs it most.
Why Publish an Obituary in the Local News?
Even in a digital world, publishing an obituary in the local newspaper still matters. Here are a few good reasons why:
- It reaches people you can’t notify personally - Former coworkers, neighbors, classmates—many people still rely on local obituaries to stay informed.
- It creates a permanent public record - Newspapers often archive obituaries, making them part of local history and genealogy records.
- It honors the importance of a life lived - Publishing an obituary signals that this person mattered to their community—not just their family.
- It helps bring people together - Friends and acquaintances may attend services or reach out with support because they saw the notice.
- It provides closure - There’s something powerful about seeing a life acknowledged publicly. It helps make loss feel real—and shared.
A Final Thought
Whether you’re learning how to write an obituary for someone you love or preparing one for yourself, remember this: it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be true.
And if you want to make things easier for your family one day, storing your obituary draft, notes, and wishes securely in My Banyan Life is a simple act of love that lasts far beyond words.